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Lemonade Maker – Annee Martin's avatar

Most mornings I let my feet touch the ground as I get out of bed headed for the coffee machine. and my first prayer is Thank you, God- I am alive, and I get to have coffee with you. Thank you for the gift of life, especially my life. I turn on the candles with my remote, pass by my Altar(s), and smile. What a gift to know my life is a gift. I am unsure what "God" is or exactly who I am thanking- All I know is that my heart feels happy and grateful. Sometimes, I just sit, sipping my coffee, taking in the glow of the candles, the first morning light. I can't imagine what it would feel like to not pray or be grateful to God. I have been through a lot in my life, and somehow, I have this faith and trust that there is Good (God) and I am love and love is God. I look over at my dog which spelled backward is god and I feel I am the luckiest person in the world to be loved by my dog and to love my dog. Sometimes, I think we make it more complicated to try and figure this out - One of my favorite sayings relates to "The Art of Showing UP." Thank you, Brad, for sharing your journey and encouraging us to share ours.

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Faith Newton's avatar

I think what you describe is a very common experience of prayer - sometimes it seems to hit the ceiling, or feel pointless and other times its scared and profound. I love when God speaks through sudden thoughts like you describe. Excited to see where a more public expression of your faith takes you. Thanks for sharing.

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Brad Wetzler's avatar

Thank you, Faith. I know that you know a lot about this topic. I will keep posting about my journey back from agnosticism toward God... however, I can understand God at any moment of my life. I love your posts. Stay in touch.

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Eileen Bader Williams's avatar

I can believe in God. He/She makes sense as the fundamental energy source and parent of all of us. But I can't feel Him/Her and that's where I struggle.

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Brad Wetzler's avatar

I feel you, Eileen. And it's great to hear from you. I know that you've lived a life of great faith, and I admire that about you. I loved your book for this very reason, among others. And yes, the hidden-ness of God is where I struggle too. But so much is hidden from us, right? Even in physics/quantum. So I try to remember how much our senses don't pick up and trust that God is as real as I can imagine... and then to simply trust. It's great to hear from you again. I look forward to reading more from you.

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Eileen Bader Williams's avatar

Good point about trust. We trust in so many things such as the lights coming on after we flip a switch in the hallway, or that our next breath will keep us alive--why not totally trust in the intelligent Being behind all of creation? Well, my faith has waxed and waned over the years, but my hope remains. I'll include a link to my second memoir! (But you, undoubtedly, have a long reading list like me.) I'm looking forward to your second memoir Brad! https://books2read.com/thebuilderswife

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Dec 21
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Brad Wetzler's avatar

I hear you, Gwen. I grew up with rigid beliefs about God, too. And then those rigid beliefs left me no choice but to walk away from it all. Now, I start with a low bar, so to speak. I just pray from where I am that day, however much doubt I have. I'm glad my post encourages you to pray again. I hope I can read more about your journey in prayer now. Yes to the Mystery!

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